


Little Moments

by HuntersMoon47



Series: Wait For Me To Come Home [4]
Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-27
Updated: 2017-06-17
Packaged: 2018-11-05 09:29:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,255
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11010660
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HuntersMoon47/pseuds/HuntersMoon47
Summary: We fall in love slowly, moment by moment.





	1. Garrus

 “Twenty years, Shepard! Twenty fucking years I wanted to kill that bastard and you had to go all soft on me!”

Garrus stood ready to interfere if Zaeed went after Shepard. Not that he needed to. She didn’t so much as blink when the old merc got in her face. Her eyes flashed when he accused her of being soft.

“I don’t know what the Illusive Man told you, but when you serve with me, you put the lives of civilians ahead of personal revenge,” Shepard growled, leaning closer to Zaeed. “If you think being a decent human being is soft, then you can pack your shit and get off my ship.”

A small crowd had gathered in the hanger bay to watch the stand off. If Garrus weren’t so on edge, the sight might actually be funny - five foot, four inch Danica Shepard standing toe to toe with six foot, three inch Zaeed Massani and looking just as tall. Spirits, but that woman was a force of nature. Neither one of them spoke for several tense seconds. Then Zaeed let out a long breath and slowly pulled away from Shepard, relenting.

“Shit, Zaeed, it was twenty fucking years ago,” Danica sighed and stepped back. “If you really want to hold onto that kind of shit while we’re fighting the end of the galaxy, that’s your choice. But if I were you, I’d let it go and focus your energy on something that fucking matters.”

She didn’t wait for Zaeed to answer, just left him standing in the middle of the hanger bay gaping at her. Shepard didn’t meet Garrus’ eyes as she approached.

“You can stand down, Vakarian.” She passed by and Garrus turned to follow her, trying to hide a smile.

“I was more worried about Zaeed,” he lied, joining her on the elevator. Shepard snorted.

“Liar,” she said. “I could have taken him.”

“I have no doubt, Shep.”

 

\------------------------------

 

Sweat and blood dripped down Shepard’s face but somehow Kasumi still looked flawless. Garrus was equal parts impressed and irritated that Shepard took the brunt of the damage. Shepard didn’t seem to care. Her eyes were fixed on Kasumi, who continued to stare at the hologram image of her former partner and lover.

“Is there any way we can just destroy the information?” Shepard asked softly, her eyes sad. It never ceased to amaze him how open she was with her team. In the field, around the public, she was all business - calm, calculating, cold even. But with the crew members, she was warm, caring, open. It was remarkable. 

“No,” Kasumi shook her head. “Keiji’s a master at encrypting files. He laced the information into his memories. You can’t get one without experiencing the other.”

Garrus stood by the door, watching silently. He thought for sure Shepard would destroy the information. Tactically, it was the right move and the risk of someone else getting their hands on the information was too high. Instead, Shepard surprised him.

“If it’s that important to you, keep it,” she said without hesitation. “Just make sure you’re ready to live with the consequences.”

Kasumi looked up at Shepard, eyes wide with shock. Then a smile ghosted across her lips.

“Yeah,” she said. “I am. I”ll stay off the grid. No one will know I exist.”

With a sigh, Shepard fell onto the bench, glancing up at him for just a moment as he sat down next to her. The expression on her face dared him to question her decision, but he knew better. But he knew better. At least in front of another crew member.

“I think...I want this,” Kasumi spoke again, drawing Shepard’s attention. Shepard smiled at her. “Thanks, Shepard.”

The thief ducked her head, images from the grey box flashing across her visor before her hood hid it from view. Garrus heard the click in his ear that indicated Goto disconnecting from their networked comms.

“Got something to say, Vakarian?” Shepard shifted next to him, pulling off her gloves. Even her hands were cut and bruised from the fight. 

“No ma’am, just surprised is all," he said. "Seems dangerous to keep something like that out there.”

Shepard just grunted as she tried to twist and unlock her armor. A wince creased the corner of her eyes. With a sigh, Garrus slid off his seat, knelt on the floor in front his commander and helped her out of her armor. Neither of them spoke as Garrus carefully stacked the pieces next to her. When she was in just her undersuit, Shepard unzipped it down the front and peeled it off her torso, revealing a dark bruise spreading across her ribs.

“Shit, Shep,” Garrus gently prodded the area, immediately regretting it when Danica gasped in pain. Garrus shook his head. “We never should have let the two of you go in there alone.”

Normally, Shepard would have some sassy retort about how no one _let_ her do anything, or how she could handle herself. When she remained silent, Garrus looked up, worried he’s made her pass out from pain or something awful. Turians were a lot stronger than humans, maybe he’d pressed her ribs harder than he thought. But Shepard hasn’t passed out. Her eyes were fixed on Kasumi, full of sympathy, and once again Garrus was taken with the varying depths of Danica Shepard.

“It’s not always about tactics, Garrus,” she whispered, gazy flickering down to meet his. There was something in her eyes that he couldn’t read, but make his stomach flip. “Sometimes, it’s just about having someone to hold on to.”

 


	2. Danica

“No. No, you don’t charge with a sniper rifle,” Garrus sighed with exasperation and Danica fought back a laugh. She’d considered helping Grunt when he'd asked to learn how to use a sniper rifle. But Garrus was a better shot - not that she’d ever admit it out loud - and the assured hilarity of the Turian trying to help Grunt had been too much to resist.

“Ugh, this is annoying,” Grunt grumbled. “This was stupid. Forget it. This is for squishy species.”

Danica did laugh at that, doubling over and resting her hands on her knees. Garrus bristled.

“Turians are _not_ squishy,” Garrus growled.

“Squishy enough,” the Krogan said with a shrug. Garrus threw his hands up in the air and looked at Shepard, mandibles flaring in frustration. Still laughing, she held out her hand for Garrus’ rifle - she was the only person other than him allowed to touch his Black Widow and she loved that - and stepped up to the simulator she’d had Miranda requisition from the Illusive Man. If she had to work for the asshole, she was going to spend as much of his money as she could.

“Watch, Grunt,” she said, raising the gun to her shoulder. “Garrus, run a simulation. A merc band or something.”

A few seconds passed and the simulation began. Shepard waited until she had a head shot lined up and squeezed the trigger. The simulated merc’s head exploded. Next to her, Grunt;s low laugh rumbled.

“Now that was awesome,” he chuckled. Shepard smiled. She wasn’t sure who had taught Grunt the word “awesome" but she loved it. Probably Joker. She lined up another shot and another head exploded. Grunt’s laugh grew louder.

“Yes!” He shouted. “Let me try! Let me try!”

Shepard stood up and moved aside for the Krogan. Garrus gaped at her.

“Come on, Vakarian,” she teased, absolutely loving how his eyes narrowed at her. “You just have to speak his language.”

“Exploding heads?” He rumbled, shaking his head. “I should have known.”

“Yes, you should have.” They stood in silence, watching Grunt try to figure out the rifle. Danica was pretty sure that it was pure Krogan stubbornness that kept him going. He really was terrible.

“How are your ribs?” Garrus asked quietly. Shepard dipped her head to hide her smile. He was always checking up on her injuries. Even more when he hadn’t been along for the mission. He took it personally and even though she didn’t need his protection, she like that he worried. It was nice to have someone who cared.

“They’re good, Garrus. How are your ribs?” She said. He glanced down at her sharply and Shepard failed to keep a straight face. She really shouldn’t tease him for his concern but she couldn’t help it. She liked the way his brow plates came together and his mandibles flared. It was....cute.

“You’re just so squishy, you know?” She added on. Grunt laughed loudly and Garrus threw his hands up in the air, sending Shepard into a peal of laughter.

“I’m done here,” his voice was light and Shepard saw his mandibles flinch in a Turian smile. “Have fun with this one, Battlemaster.”

 

\----------

 

Eternity was seedy, but it was the best place on Illium. Shepard blended in okay, but Miranda stuck out like a sore thumb. Not that she cared. After saying goodbye to Oriana and making arrangements for Niket’s body, she’d come straight to Eternity, walked right up to the bar, ordered a gin and tonic and told Aethyta to keep them coming. Miranda was six, maybe seven drinks in and showed no signs of slowing down. Shepard had stopped after four - or five. At least one of them should have their wits about them, sort of.

“I just can’t believe he did it, Shepard,” Miranda lamented, not for the first time. But Miranda had never let herself go and Shepard would willingly listen if it helped the other woman process the day. “I mean, he knew - _he knew_ \- how manipulative my father is. How could he have fallen victim to him? Maybe it’s my fault. I left him there, alone. I…”

“No,” Shepard interrupted Miranda, grasping her hand across the table. “No, Miranda. Not your fault. People make mistakes; big ones. Nothing you can do about it.”

Miranda didn’t respond but she didn’t let go of Shepard’s hand either. In fact, she clung to it, like it was her only tether to the world. It wasn’t the first time Danica worried about how lonely Miranda’s life was. She didn’t have time to dwell on it though because someone shouted her name. Someone whose voice made her want to slide under the table to disappear.

She groaned out loud.

“Is that...is that Verner?” Miranda gasped.

“I told him to go home,” Shepard growled. This wasn’t going to end well. She barely had enough patience to deal with the misguided fool when she was sober.

“Shep….” Verner’s call was out off. Danica looked up to see what angel had been sent to save her and saw Garrus standing over the human. Verner shrunk before the formidable form of Garrus Vakarian, mandibles pulled tight in a scowl. Danica pressed her lips together to hide a smile when Verner looked at her. After a few more minutes, Verner nodded and left. Danica sighed with relief.

“What did you say to him?” She asked when Garrus stopped at their table.

“I told him…” Garrus started, low and growly. Then he took a deep breath. “I requested, forcefully, that he leave you alone as your schedule is demanding and you rarely have time to spend with friends.”

“That was very sweet of you, Garrus.” Miranda interjected, her words slurring together. “You always take care of Shepard. You two are just...wonderful.”

She dropped her head onto the table, cradled by her arm. Danica felt herself blush at Miranda’s words and refused to make eye contact with Garrus. Instead, she squeezed Miranda’s hand and let go, sliding out of the booth.

“Come on, Miranda. It’s time to go,” Danica said. She had to half pull Miranda out of the booth. When the both were on their feet, Shepard slipped an arm around Miranda’s waist. She glanced at Aethyta, who caught her eye and waved her off.

“I’ll just charge your account,” she shouted. Danica snorted. How far had she fallen from Savior of the Citadel to having a permanent account at a club on Illium.

Her first step was a little more wobbly than she’d anticipated. Trying to hide how drunk she was, she and MIranda stumbled toward the entrance.

“What else did you and Verner talk about?” Shepard grunted as Miranda tripped sideways, giggling - fucking Miranda, giggling - and pulled Danica with her. A strong Turian hand reached out and steadied her.

“Spirits, Shepard, just let me take her.” Garrus didn’t wait for Danica to respond, he just swept Miranda up into this arms like she weighed nothing. Miranda’s only response was to lay her head against his shoulder and pat his chest.

“Um, good Turian,” she mumbled. Danica clamped a hand over her mouth to cover a laugh. Garrus growled in annoyance but continued forward, Shepard at his side.

“Really, Garrus, what did you say to Verner? It looked pretty intense.”

“I told him to go home and let you do your job.” Garrus didn’t look at her as he carried Miranda through the late night crowds. Danica had to admit it was kind of sweet, how he was taking care of Miranda. He wasn’t usually like this with anyone - anyone but her. But he’d been there today when Miranda had been betrayed by her oldest friend; then watched him die. And despite his surly exterior, Garrus Vakarian was really a softy. “And I told him to take the damn N7 armor off. It’s only for the bravest, strongest, best humans and he hadn’t earned it.”

“Garrus…” she started but he cut her off with that low, mean rumbled she’d come to recognize as protectiveness. She stared at him as they waited for the airlock for the Normandy to open but he didn’t look at her. Her clearly wanted her to drop it; to not acknowledge the compliment, the respect, he’d just shown her by protecting the N7 emblem. A symbol that belonged to an entirely different species. And he didn’t want to talk about intervening for her with Verner; how he shielded her from that.

“You’re my knight in shining armor,” she said as Garrus stepped off the elevator on the crew deck, Miranda fast asleep in his arms. He looked over his shoulder, confusion on his face. She grinned at him. “Look it up, Big Guy. See you in the morning.”


	3. Garrus

Most of the ship was asleep. It was well into the night cycle but Garrus couldn’t sleep. Nightmares of Omega had woken him. He’d promised Shepard he wouldn’t drink when the nightmares bothered him anymore, so he’d resorted to walking around the crew deck, hoping it would tire him out. Fatigue was beginning to set in as the door to Life Support slid open and Shepard emerged. Her hair was down, the loose brown curls pulled over her shoulder and she wore a pair of loose red shorts and an N7 hoodie. Her head was down, hands stuffed in the pockets of the hoodie, deep in thought. 

Garrus felt a jab of jealousy at the thought of her spending time with Thane at this time of night. He’d heard the whispers and seen the looks the other females of the crew gave the Drell. Maybe she was interested in the assassin - he would be closer to home for her. 

“Hey, Shep.” He forced his voice to be casual and kept his subharmonics under control. He’d been more careful since she’d revealed she could hear them but it didn't stop the jealousy from clawing at his throat.

Danica stopped in her tracks, head snapping up, eyes wide. She relaxed as soon as she saw him, something Garrus tried not to read into. 

“Hey, Garrus.” She smiled. “What are you doing up?”

He shrugged. 

“Couldn’t sleep,” he said. Understanding flashed in her eyes. Danica Shepard was no stranger to nightmares. Thankfully, she never pressed him to talk about it and he was grateful for that. She was there when he was ready to talk and that's what mattered. “How about you?”

“I just wanted to check in with Thane. I'm trying to help him find his son but...it's not easy.” She nodded back towards the door to Life Support and then started toward the kitchen. Out of habit, Garrus fell into step beside her. “He’s...intense.”

“What do you mean?” Garrus pushed away another wave of jealousy but he was dying to know what Shepard meant by intense. Danica shrugged, opened the fridge pulled out a beer and pulled herself up to sit on the counter. Without a word, she handed the bottle to Garrus, who used a talon to pry off the top and wordlessly handed it back.

"Did you know that Drell have photographic memories?" She asked, taking a swig. "And the memories come to them, unbidden. Almost like they are re-living the moment. Can you imagine?"

There were plenty of memories Garrus wouldn’t want popping into his mind - arguments with his father; the day he found out Shepard was dead; losing his team. No wonder the assassin was so solemn.

“I feel sad for him,” Shepard said quietly. “I wish I could help - find a cure; find his son. Something.”

“You can’t save everyone, Shep,” he answered. She looked up at him, eyes flashing with determination.

“I’m still gonna try.”

Spirits, this woman was something special. Garrus smiled at her.

“Of course, you are,” he said. 

 

\------------------------------------

 

Almost a half hour had passed since Shepard, Jacob and Miranda had returned from the planet but there was still no word on a debrief. Usually, Shepard pulled the team together as soon as the shuttle docked. It wasn't a good sign it was taking this long. He waited another fifteen minutes before going to look for her.

“EDI, where is Shepard?” He asked. “Is everything okay?”

“The Commander is in the shuttle bay, Officer Vakarian. Her vitals are stable. All injuries sustained were minor and treated by medi-gel in the field.” 

He thought about explaining to EDI that he hadn’t meant that, but decided against getting into semantics with an AI. When he stepped off the elevator in the shuttle boy he almost ran headlong into Miranda. 

“Ah, Garrus. Sorry.” She sounded exhausted. She looked exhausted. Whatever had happened down on the planet could not have been good. “She’s still with Jacob. It was...difficult.”

Garrus looked over the human to where Shepard and Jacob stood by the shuttle. Jacob’s head hung low as Shepard spoke, hands on his shoulders. Garrus thought he saw tears on the man’s face. 

“What happened?” He stopped back into the elevator, Miranda following him. Shepard clearly needed time with her crew member. The reasons became more clear as Miranda told him what happened. 

“We put his father in the holding room down in the hanger,” Miranda said as they arrived at their deck. “We’ll rendezvous with an Alliance ship in the Hades Gamma cluster. Jacob asked Shepard not to debrief the team, so keep it to yourself. I just figured she’d tell you anyway.”

It was almost two hours later when Shepard showed up at the battery, showered but clearly worn out. She collapsed onto his cot.

“Miranda said she told you what happened,” she said, crossing her legs up underneath her. 

“Yeah. Taylor okay?” He glanced up from her collaborations to see her shrug. 

“I don’t know,” she said. Garrus listed as he continued working on the guns. “He says he is but...I mean, what do I know? One nice thing about not having parents is that they can’t disappoint you.”

“Sure. I mean, my father and I haven’t seen eye to eye since I could walk but what Jacob’s dad did…” Garrus spoke, still tinkering with his calibrations. “I don’t understand what would drive a man to do that; manipulate and control that way. I can’t imagine what I’d do if I were in Taylor’s place.”

Silence hung in the air. Worried he’d said something wrong, he glanced over at Shepard again. She’d fallen asleep, sitting up on his cot, leaning against the wall. Garrus’ heart stuttered and a low rumble escaped him. Spirits, she was beautiful when she slept. Her expression soft, restful.

Thankful she wasn’t awake to hear the purr of his subvocals that he couldn’t that he couldn’t seem to contain, Garrus crept over to the cot. Gently, he took her by the shoulders and laid her down, then carefully straightened out her legs. Her eyes fluttered open when he pulled his blanket up over her. 

“‘Orry,” she mumbled. “I can go.” 

“Don’t be stupid,” Garrus said. “Just take a nap. No one will bother you here.”

Shepard just grunted and let her eyes fall closed again. She slept for three hours, until EDI woke her to inform her than they were approaching the relay to Hades Gamma and would arrive shortly. She squeezed Garrus’ hand when she thanked him. When he went to bed that night, his pillow and blanket smelled like her - vanilla and brown sugar. He couldn’t think of a scent he loved more. 

 

\--------------------

 

“What in the hell is going on in there?” Chambers glanced toward the lab for the third time in five minutes. The music coming from the science lab was so loud it was making Chambers' coffee mug vibrate on her small desk. This had been going on for al least twenty minutes. Garrus finally gave up on researching ship upgrades and headed for the lab, since it was clear Chambers wasn’t leaving her post. 

He froze when he stepped into the lab, weird music blaring. In the middle of the room, Shepard and Mordin faced one another, bouncing on the balls of thier feet, hands moving in time with the beat, singing at the top of thier lungs. 

“...the very model of a scientist Salarian!” The two of them sang in unison, looking up at Garrus. 

“What in the hell is going on in here?” He asked. Shepard beamed at him, happier and more relaxed them he’d seen her in weeks. The music started over again and she and Mordin started in unison. Shepard bounced as she sang. 

“I am the very model of a scientist Salarian. I’ve studied species, Turian, Asari and Batarian. I’m quite good at genetics (a subset of biology) because I am an expert (which I know is a tautology)."

“What is happening,” Garrus gasped, both aghast and entranced by the flush on Shepard’s face and the twinkle in her eye. 

“My xenoscience studies range from urban to agrarian - I am the very model of a scientist Salarian.” Shepard threw her head back and laughed. Mordin grinned at the Commander and winked at Garrus. 

“Okay,” Garrus said. “You’ve clearly lost your mind. Or your on drugs. Mordin, what did you give her?”

“Come on, Garrus, learn it with me!” Shepard’s eyes sparkled. It had been so long since she’d had this much fun. He would never deny her the chance for gun, but there was no way he’d be caught dead doing this. 

“No.” He held up his hands, defensively, backing up toward the door. 

“Garrus!”

“Over my dead body, Shepard.”

The last thing he saw before the door slid closed was Shepard singing again, this time turning in a circle as she bounced to the beat. Her face flushed, hair flying about. He chuckled as he turned around to find all of the crew in the CIC staring at him. H just shrugged. 

“I wouldn’t go in there,” he said. And then just to cause trouble. “I’m pretty sure one of Mordin’s experiments backfired. Shits real weird in there.”


	4. Danica

“Samara, are you okay?” Danica asked quietly. She and the asari were leaving the mother’s apartment on Omega. The poor woman had cried, thanking them for killing the monster who had killed her daughter. The monster who was Samara’s daughter. Whom she had just killed herself. The Jusitcar had not flinched. Shepard didn't know if that impressed her or worried her. Perhaps it was a little of both. 

“I lost my bravest and smartest daughter today,” Samara said quietly. “She never bent to fate; never let anyone define her. But, the code allows for no mercy. I had to kill her. I am...not okay.”

Danica wanted to hug her. If it had been Liara and Tali, or hell, even Miranda, she wouldn’t have hesitated. But something told her that Samara didn’t want that.

“I’m so sorry,” she said instead. “I wish...is there anything I can do to help?”

“Thank you, Shepard, but you have helped more than most. As unpleasant as this had been, it is over now. I can find peace in that. Eventually.” 

They emerged from the apartments area of the port. The main outside Eternity was unusually empty. It took Danica a moment to remember it was more than halfway through the night cycle. Apparently, Omega did sleep. 

There were two figures outside of the club that caught her attention - a large armor-clad Turian with blue clan markings and a female human with tattoos on every visible inch of skin. Which was almost everything from the waist up. 

“Is that girl ever going to put a fucking shirt on?” Danica mumbled. Garrus caught sight of her, pausing his pacing. Even from this distance, she saw him visibly relax.

“He worries about you when you go on missions without him,” Samara said quietly. “Turian tend to be rather...primal when it comes to protecting their mates.”

Danica choked. Then coughed, trying to recover. She saw Garrus’ face pinch with concern. 

“I’m sorry, what?” She said, looking at Samara. “We’re not….we haven’t, umm. It’s not like that?”

A single perfectly manicured eyebrow raised slowly.

“Not yet,” Samara answered smoothly, then turned toward the docks leaving Danica in stunned silence while Garrus and Jack approached.

“Hey, um, what are you two doing here?” She stammered, feeling herself blush. Garrus didn’t say anything, but Jack pointed at him. 

“Big Blue here drug me along to wait for you in case things went sideways,” Jack said, starting towards the docks herself. “Wasn’t a complete waste. Got to help T’Lok’s boys clear out a fight. That was a kick. See you two on the boat.”

As usual, Danica felt the need to catch her breath after the whirlwind of Jack. Despite a rough beginning and the argument with Miranda, Danica was beginning to like her. It probably had something to with Jack deciding to blow up the place she hated the most; the place of her nightmares. Danica really liked that kind of coping mechanism. She could think of a few places, things...people, she'd like to blow up.

“Are you okay?” Garrus asked, interrupting her thoughts while the two of them followed Jack. 

“I”m fine,” Danica said. “I’m more worried about Samara.”

“And Morinth? She didn’t…”

“Hypnotize and seduce me?” Danica finished for him. “No. Thankfully Samara’s tips kept me on my toes. And she arrived just in time.” 

“I don’t like that you were bait,” Garrus growled. “I was...worried.”

Danica looked up to find his gray eyes locked on her. Her stomach clenched and her heart pounded. The way he was looking at her it was...primal. And it made heat coil in her stomach.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. 

Oh, she was in trouble. Samara had been right and Danica was....excited. She had to reel herself back in and fast. Now was not the time for this. 

“I know, Big Guy,” she said, desperately pushing down the flash of desire that ran over her. “I'm sorry, I don’t mean to worry you. I’d like to tell you it won’t happen again but…’

“You can’t. I know.” Garrus clapped a hand on her shoulder. “But let’s try to limit it,okay. I never want to break up a bar fight with Jack ever again. It was the most terrifying experience of my life.”

Danica dropped her head back and laughed all the way to the Normandy as Garrus recounted his adventure with Jack. All the while trying to tamp down on the heat coiling deep in her gut. Her efforts were largely unsuccessful.

 

\-------------

 

“You’re in my shot,” Garrus said. “Move to the side.” 

Danica stayed where she was. This whole time, she hadn’t really believed he wanted to kill Sidonis. She just thought he was angry, venting. But when he’d shot Harkin in the leg Danica realized Garrus had every intention of killing the other Turian. And she’d be damned if she was going to let that happen - especially in front of civilians. Killing people in battle was one thing; hunting down a man and killing him for revenge was another. It was a line she wasn’t going to let Garrus cross. No matter how angry he got.

“Listen Sidonis,” Danica said. “I’m here to help you.”

The Turian’s eyes grew wide and Danica heard Garrus growl into the coms.

“Don’t ever say that name aloud,” Sidonis hissed.

“Listen to me, carefully,” she continued, ignoring both Turians. “I’m a friend of Garrus. He wants you dead, but lucky for you, I’m hoping that’s not necessary.”

“Shepard, what are you doing?” Garrus growled.

“Garrus?” Sidonis’ eyes grew wide. “Is this some kind of joke?”

“Damn it, Shepard!” Garrus was getting angry. “If he moves, I’m taking the shot!”

“You’re not kidding, are you?” Sidonis started backing away. “Screw this. I’m not sticking around here to find out. Tell Garrus I had my own problems…”

“Don’t move,” Danica snapped, reaching out and grabbing the Turian’s arm as he turned around.

“Get off me!” Sidonis threw her arm off. 

“Hey! I’m the only thing standing between you and a hole in the head, so I’d be a little more grateful if I were you,” Danica said through clenched teeth. She almost changed her mind - until Sidonis’ shoulders slumped and he shook his head. 

“Fuck,” he said. 

“Yeah,” Danica willingly agreed.

“Look, I didn’t want to do it, okay?” The Turian began to explain. “I didn’t have a choice.”

“Everyone has a choice,” Garrus said in her earpiece. Danica sighed but didn’t say anything, letting Sidonis continue his explanation. 

“They got to me. Said they’d kill me if I didn’t help. What was I supposed to do?”

“Let me take the shot, Shepard,” Garrus demanded. “He’s a damned coward.”

She didn't really disagree but she held her ground. This wasn't about Sidonis. It was about Garrus. 

“That’s it?” She demanded, following Sidonis so Garrus couldn’t get a clear look. “You were just out to save yourself?”

“I know what I did. I know they died because of me and I have to live with that.” Sidonis leaned over the railing, making it hard for Danica to block him. All she could do was make sure she was too close for Garrus to risk hitting her. No matter how angry he was, she knew he’d never take the shot if she was at risk. “I wake up every night....sick...sweating. Each of their faces staring at me...accusing me. I’m already a dead man. I don’t sleep. Food has no taste. Some days, I just want it to be over.”

“Just give me the chance,” Garrus said. Danica shook her head, not taking her eyes off Sidonis.

“You’ve got to let it go, Garrus,” she said quietly. Sidonis didn’t appear to hear her. Or maybe he just didn't care. “He’s already paying for his crime.”

“He hasn’t paid enough. He still has his life…”

God help her, at this rate she was going to have to beat sense into her Turian’s stubborn ass. She took a deep breath - pointedly ignoring the fact that she'd just thought of Garrus as hers - and attempted to reason with her friend once again. 

“Look at him, Garrus. He’s not alive….there’s nothing left to kill.”

“My men, they deserved better.” His voice was different now - not angry, just full of...sorrow. It nearly broke her heart. 

“I know they did,” she whispered back, loud enough for only him to hear. “But I’m not letting you do this. I’ll stand here as long as it takes. Do you really want to try to out-stubborn me?”

“Tell Garrus...I guess there is nothing I can say to make it right…” Sidonis offered. Danica waited for Garrus to say something. She heard him sigh. 

“Just…” Garrus started. “Go. Tell him to go.”

Danica let out a long breath. 

“He’s giving you a second chance,” she said to Sidonis. “Don’t waste it.”

“I’ll try, Garrus.” Sidonis stood upright, looking blindly into the rafters over Danica’s head like he knew where the other Turian would be. “I”ll make it up to you, somehow.”

“Not likely,” Danica said. “How about you try not to fuck up and get other people killed this time around. We’ll call that a success.”

“Thank you,” Sidonis said, dropping his head in embarrassment. “For talking to him.”

“It wasn’t for you,” Danica said, finally turning to leave, heading straight for the meeting point, preparing to have it out with her Turian. He was stalking towards the skycar when she climbed out, mandibles pulled tight, eyes focused away from her. She opened her mouth to say something but he spoke first. 

“I know you probably want to talk about this, but I don’t,” he growled. Shepard snorted. Like hell they weren’t going to talk about this.

“I know it didn’t go the way you planned, Garrus, but I think that’s for the best,” she said. Garrus shook his head, pacing in front of her, still not meeting her eyes. 

“I’m not so sure…” He responded, despite his request to not talk. At least that part of the argument was one Danica didn't have to worry about.

“Give it time,” she said softly. 

“Yeah,” he snorted. “Maybe that will be enough. I just… I want to know I did the right thing. Not just for me - for my men. They deserve to be avenged. But when Sidonis was in my sights - I just couldn’t do it.”

Danica sighed and reached for his arm, stopping his pacing. He turned toward her, head hanging just a bit. She lifted a hand to his scarred cheek, running her fingers over the rough plate there. 

“The line between good and evil blur when we’re looking at people we know,” she said. If he had died the day he got those scars, she couldn’t say with confidence that she wouldn’t have tried to avenge him. It was easier to see what was right and what was wrong when personal emotions weren’t involved. He leaned his head into her touch just a little bit - so slightly she wondered if he even realized he was doing it. 

“Yeah, there was still good in him,” he relented and Danica sighed a breath of relief. This was her Garrus. The one she wanted - needed. Not the one who hunted down men to kill them. “I could see it. It’s just...so much easier to see the world in black and white. Gray - I don’t really know what to do with gray.”

“You gotta go with your instincts,” Danica offered. Garrus snorted. 

“My instincts are what got me into this mess,” he said. Danica smiled and patted his mandible. 

“Nah, your anger got you into this mess, Big Guy. Your instincts brought me along to stop you when you went too far.” 

“Hah, yeah.” His mandible flinched under hers when he smiled. “Thanks, Shep. For everything. Let’s get going. I need some distance from this place.”

“Whatever you need, Big Guy,” She said. “I’m with you.”

They climbed into the skycar and Danica pulled into traffic and headed for the docking bay. Neither of them said anything for a while but it didn’t matter. Silence between them was just as comfortable as words. It was so quiet that Danica jumped when Garrus’ gloved hand closed around hers. She looked down at their hands in surprise before turning hers over and intertwining her fingers with his as best she could. 

“I’m sorry,” Garrus said in nearly a whisper. Danica glanced at him. He was watching her closely, gray eyes studying her face. She shook her head. 

“What are you sorry for?”

“For getting so...angry,” he said. “I would have killed him if you hadn’t stopped me. I would have killed him and then hated myself. I should have known better…”

“Hey.” Danica squeezed his hand and waited until she could risk another glance at him before she continued. “That’s what I’m here for - to remind you of who you are when you’ve lost your way. Just like you do for me. If you hadn’t been there for me after I woke up, Garrus, I don’t know who I’d be now. But I wouldn’t be me. Not without you.”

Garrus’ grip on her hand tighten and he looked away but didn’t say anything. She saw his mandible tighten, saw the muscles in his neck clench like they did when he was trying to control his emotions. After a few moments, he spoke again. 

“I wouldn’t be me without you either, Shep,” he said so quietly she barely heard him. Danica’s chest tightened until she almost couldn’t breathe. There was so much more underneath those words - on both their parts - that it made it hard to concentrate on driving. But she knew neither one of them were quite ready to go there, especially not after today, so she just tightened her own grip on his hand. 

“Good to know it’s not one-sided,” she said. 


End file.
